i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
send nudes
from the living room?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize