is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
