you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
