left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
