Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
