He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
