at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
