I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
