I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
