she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize