So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
