Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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