I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
