You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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