GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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