Cold hands, warm shart.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
