They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
