i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
