if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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