I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
