is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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