yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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