he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
