I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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