she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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