It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize