you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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