hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
