Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
