This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
