The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
organizing the empties. That sober.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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