it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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