I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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