Whod you bang
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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