shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
