this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
