We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
