Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
