I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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