He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
