i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
