I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Never underestimate the power of titties
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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