I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize