I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sponge bath it is.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
