I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
