i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
