I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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