Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize