I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize