it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
