she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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