We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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