My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize